Written for the church newsletter in hopes that I will more effectively communicate to those who are important to me the needs of my boy who is one of two that I love the most...
One of the major challenges of parenting an Aspergian child is knowing how much information to share about your child and when is the right time to do so. I feel so blessed to have a church community that is ready and willing to help hold our "special needs" family and yet I always feel conflicted when trying to shed light on behaviors that may seem puzzling. To complicate matters, children with Asperger's are highly sensitive to any comments that could be construed as negative. What would be a reasonable request from an adult to a child in a typical situation can hurt the Aspergian child's feelings or frustrate them. I find myself often running interference and possibly alienating adults who would like to help because I can't find the outlet to share information in a way that doesn't seem defensive.
Or can I? We have a newsletter and God gave me the gift of writing. Let's give it a try.
Owen spends most of his waking hours fielding sensory input that doesn't even register on our radars. "Normal" interaction, noise, and activity for the rest of us are all sensory intrusions on a small and developing system that does not have a filter or the ability to organize the input. Thankfully Owen is very bright and creative and seeks out ways to manage/balance those intrusions. Unfortunately, they are the exact things that are difficult for the rest of us to filter! Ironic isn't it? If you see Owen flipping the lights, pounding on the piano, spinning in circles...it's really his way of saying "I want to be here with you in this place, but I'm having a hard time being in my body".
Like the rest of us, Owen wants to be understood and nurtured. His behavior looks boisterous and maybe even annoying. I struggle at times to avoid addressing the behavior and instead check in with him and ask him quietly how he's doing, or does he need help. By adopting the latter approach, Owen knows that I get it and that I am supporting him. That's how he and I build trust and a different kind of love together. My hope and prayer is that he will build those bonds with the rest of you as well.
Help me to be a better bridge between the two of you. Ask questions. If I can't answer them during fellowship time, maybe we can e-mail. As a homeschooling mom of two young children, my phone time is limited, but I am learning to use the Internet for support and spend a lot of time on the computer. I look forward to growing more in community with my little family and our church family.
More will be revealed...
God knew there would be children with Autism.
So in honor of them, He made the Planets in the Solar System
Spin
Round and round
Round and round
...Round and round
~Author Unknown~
